Most Dating Apps Aren’t Broken — They’re Designed This Way
- Ashley Molina-Kabba
- Jan 14
- 1 min read

If dating apps feel exhausting, it’s not because you’re doing it wrong.
Most dating apps are working exactly as intended.
They’re designed to keep you scrolling, swiping, and second-guessing — not to help you make a clear decision about who you actually want to date.
Because when someone finds a real connection, they stop using dating apps.
Endless options aren’t a coincidence. They’re the business model.
That’s why dating often feels like:
Too many profiles with too little context
Matches that go nowhere
Conversations that fade before they start
A loop that looks like activity but feels like no progress
You’re not picky. You’re overwhelmed.
Swiping trains people to make fast, disposable decisions about real humans. Over time, that turns dating into content consumption instead of connection.
You start scrolling out of habit, not intention.
And when everything feels interchangeable, nothing stands out.
Dating shouldn’t feel like a feed.
You’re not browsing products. You’re choosing a partner.
Some people are done with that system. They want fewer options, better filters, and more clarity about why someone is in front of them.
They want dating to feel calm instead of chaotic.
They want to understand what they’re saying yes to — not just what they’re swiping past.
If dating apps have started to feel draining, it’s not because you’ve lost interest in connection.
It’s because the tools you’re using weren’t built for people who know what they want.
Dating doesn’t need more options.
It needs better decisions.




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